色色笑话一百则(上)

蝴蝶

<IMG src="http://www.400.net.cn:808/images/Emotions/24.gif">哪有一百则。。。。

发现家

<FONT size=3><STRONG>&nbsp;1. <SPAN>魏蜀两军对阵。曹<FONT face="Times New Roman">*</FONT>先派蒋干与诸葛亮交锋。亮见蒋干前来，曰：“干，你娘好吗？”。蒋干只好低声回答：“好”。然后滚鞍落马。曹<FONT face="Times New Roman">*</FONT>亲自上阵。亮随之问曰：“<FONT face="Times New Roman">*</FONT>，你妈好吗？”曹<FONT face="Times New Roman">*</FONT>听后，吐血而亡。魏兵大败。<FONT face="Times New Roman"> <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice" /><o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></STRONG><BR></FONT>< class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> 2. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>夫欲远行，欲与妻欢好，妻曰：经期至。夫又欲采后庭，妻又曰：痔疮破。夫大怒，曰：若再言口腔溃疡者，必杀之！</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR>< class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> 3. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>想了，打了，约了，定了，见了，抱了，亲了，摸了，脱了，舔了，湿了，硬了，进了，冲了，叫了，射了，来了，爽了，软了，瘫了，洗了，擦了，干了，睡了，又想了……</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR>< class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> 4. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>二子他妈，你这是干嘛去呀</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR>< class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　　上法院打官司去</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR>< class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　　原告被告</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR>< class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　　原告</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR>< class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　　原告，够牛比呀</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR>< class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　　牛比嘛呀，被强奸了</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR>< class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">5. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>一老一少吸血鬼相遇，因饿的发疯而发牢骚。</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR>< class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　　少说：我好几天都没喝新鲜的血了。</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　　老说：你比我强多了。这年头，我也只能到女厕拿几个茶包泡泡了。。。。</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">6. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>盗贼在保险柜里头发现全部都是果冻，一气之下全都吃了。隔天报纸刊登出头条新闻：昨日精子银行被盗，精子被洗劫一空……</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">7. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>小姐的四大心愿：大款都来泡歌厅，小费多的数不清，世上没有爱滋病，男人两下就射精</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">. <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">8. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>女郎买了香蕉，上公车后放后口袋，不时伸手往后抓。过了一阵，有位年青人拍拍她肩膀：小姐，请松手，我要下车了</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">. <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">9. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>一头公牛和一头母牛在河边吃草，公牛吃饱了就对母牛说亲爱的咱们回去吧，母牛答曰未饱请先回。不多时公牛跑回，母牛问之为何，公牛曰有人到村子里来说要吃牛鞭。母牛大骇：赶快躲起，我回去看看。不多时母牛亦跑回，公牛问之为何，母牛答曰：那些人说吃完牛鞭还要吹牛</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">*</FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>！</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">10. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>我们坚决打破老婆终生制，实行狐狸精股份制，引入小姐竞争制，推广情人合作制，实施美女轮值制，执行择优录取淘汰制，外加包二奶合法制，即日执行</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">11. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>军事训练：</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　　科目：谈情说爱</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　　内容：野外做爱</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　　目的：传宗接代</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　　地点：江边草丛一带</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　　条件：内裤不穿，乳罩不戴</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　　要求：草席自带，两人一组动作要快</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">12. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>唐僧西天取经途中，遇一妖女。妖女曰：为何西行？僧曰：取经。妖曰：小女有经，何必西行。僧大喜：经在何处？妖抚私处：在此。僧上前细察曰：</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">*</FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>，月经！</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">13. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>你别笑我胖，做爱有力量。你别笑我瘦，做爱有节奏。你别笑我高，做爱不弯腰。你别笑我矮，谁都没我拽，边做边吃奶！</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">14. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>山东好汉五二郎，工夫练在鸡巴上；景阳岗上</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">*</FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>死虎，麦秸地里干死狼；这天武松放空枪，射了姑娘一脊梁；姑娘摸些尝了尝，日他爹</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">*</FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>他娘，谁卖的豆浆他不放糖啊！</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">15. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>蚊子和螳螂来到一个浴室</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">.</FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>蚊子</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">:</FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>瞧</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">,</FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>那女人胸前的两个大包就是我上次咬的</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">!</FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>螳螂</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">:</FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>这算啥</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">!</FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>她下面的沟是我前年砍的</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">,</FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>现在都没好</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">,</FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>每个月还流一次血</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">16. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>好消息，国家妓委调低小姐收费，估计降价幅度达</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">35</FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>％。另将对小姐实行单向收费，即对打洞只收插入费，拔出免费，射精才收阴道占用费，不射只收座鸡费</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">17. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>很久很久以前，一个风雪交加的夜，一个老爷爷勇敢地在雪地小便，结果冻坏了小鸡鸡，为了纪念他从此人们叫他剩蛋老人</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">18. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>新婚夜，烛生辉，</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>妹妹含羞把灯吹，阿哥阿哥你慢点推，</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp; </SPAN><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;</SPAN></FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>阿妹我还是头一回，</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>头一回，你骗谁，</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>里面大得用鼓擂！</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">19. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>计划生育部长下乡普查，问老农：您知道近亲为什么不能结婚吗</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">?l</FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>老农憨厚的笑答：亲戚嘛，呵呵呵呵呵呵……呵呵，太熟，不好下手！</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">20. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>玫瑰只有一朵，给我</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>爱情只有你我，别躲</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>只要真心爱我，吻我</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>今晚床上等我，全裸</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">21. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>生活就像强奸，要么反抗要么就去享受；工作就像轮奸，你不行就让别人上；社会就像自慰，所有的都要靠自己的双手解决。</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">22. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>一女因胸部小而一直找不到男友，一日相亲该女据实告知对象，对象问：有馒头大吗？女答：有。遂交往，新婚夜，男子冲出新房仰天长啸：旺仔小馒头！</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">23. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>好朋友像内裤就算你大起大落他永远包含你，非常好的朋友像避孕套永远为你的安全着想。更好的的朋友就像伟哥当你抬不起头的时候他给予你力量。</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">24. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>一排妓女在街边等客，八旬老妇好奇问：在等什么？妓没好气：等棒棒糖！老妇也加入队伍等糖，被抓，警问老妇：牙都没了也能干？老妇笑曰：我可以添的！！！</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">25. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>做爱如此多招，另无数男人累断腰。芳草上下，淫水滔滔，欲与猛男玩几招。一代天娇，还会吹萧，吹得你早上弯着腰。俱往矣，数风流人物全干通宵。</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">26. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>一日孔子东游，遇少妇，欲与其欢。其不从，强褥林中。脱其衣，褪其裤，掏出裆中物，插入消魂处。事毕。少妇曰：“禽兽。”子曰：“爽透。”</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">27. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>俺们那旮瘩比较穷：穿衣基本靠纺；吃饭基本靠党；致富基本靠抢；讨老婆基本靠想；通讯基本靠吼；交通基本靠走；治安基本靠狗；性生活基本靠手！</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">28. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>抢匪：快把保险箱密码说出来！不说杀了你！女职员：杀了我也不说！代糟蹋了我也不说！抢匪上下打量她后说：你想得美！</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">29. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>某男人在与一三陪在包厢中，男人指着三陪的的嘴问：“这是什么”，三陪说：“这是音响”，那男人又指着那个三陪的</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">OO</FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>问：“这是什么？”三陪说：“这是按钮”，最后哪个男人指着三陪的</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">B</FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>问：“这又是什么？”三陪说：“这是插座”</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">30. 4</FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>悍匪憋急，路遇一卖蛋妇，一拥上之，发泄后，提裤狂逃，不见踪影！妇人起身，弹去身上灰土，哀怨：多大事呢，还以为抢鸡蛋哩……</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">31. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>村长的儿子要出国旅游了，村长说：儿呀，为了全村人者想你千万不要染了爱滋病回来，你要是染了，你老婆就完了，你老婆要是完了那我就完了，我要是完了那你妈就完了，你妈要是完了那全村人都完了</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">.......... <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><BR><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><FONT size=3><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>　</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">32. </FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>心里想了，两片痒了，手里抓个硬棒棒，一下插入正中央，风风火火一阵子，也短了也软了，两片也不痒了，心里也不想了。唉</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman">~~~~</FONT></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman??>真该戒烟了。</SPAN></B><B><SPAN lang=EN-US style="mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></B></FONT></P><B><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman?? AR-SA; mso-bidi-font-family: mso-bidi-font-size: 12&#46;0pt; mso-font-kerning: 1&#46;0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: Roman?; mso-hansi-font-family: ?Times>　</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: " Times New mso-bidi-font-size: 12&#46;0pt; mso-font-kerning: 1&#46;0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: Roman?; 楷体_GB2312; mso-fareast-font-family: AR-SA?>33. </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-ascii-font-family: " Times New Roman?? AR-SA; mso-bidi-font-family: mso-bidi-font-size: 12&#46;0pt; mso-font-kerning: 1&#46;0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: Roman?; mso-hansi-font-family: ?Times>老处女和老处男结婚登记，为表示纯洁，老处女出一上联“一间房两扇门二十九年没进人”，老处男对一下联“一杆枪两颗弹三十八年没抗战”。民政人员出一横批“傻比傻蛋”</SPAN></B>